You can exhale now. What a crazy finish. What nice efforts from Casey Dick, D.J. Williams and Jarius Wright.

And what a kickoff return by Dennis Johnson.

Dare we dream of bowl eligibility? OK, that’s definitely getting ahead of ourselves. Sorry, we’re a little loopy.

 Go Hogs!

It’s time now for a report on the Tulsa Golden Hurricane, courtesy of Biggs Barker. Bigg is a die-hard Hogs fan and computer genius who spent most of his teenage years in a federal prison for various hacking-related cybercrimes. Biggs (we’re not sure that’s his real name) now helps lead the government’s domestic surveillance and wiretapping efforts.

Needless to say, the last few days before Tuesday’s election are a very busy time for him. However, he was all too happy to take a few moments out of his hectic schedule to compile the following report about the University of Tulsa and its football team.

2008 record: 8-0 (5-0 in Conference USA)

Ranking: No. 19 in AP poll, No 18. in USA Today and BCS polls

Offense: Tulsa averages 55.6 points per game and 601.1 yards of total offense per game (346 yards in passing and 255.1 yards in rushing. Gulp.

Defense: Tulsa is allowing 26.1 points per game and 382.8 yards of total offense per game (255.8 yards passing and 127 yards rushing).

Players to watch: Quarterback David Johnson is averaging 332.6 yards of passing per game. For the year, he has completed 68.3 percent of his attempts and thrown for 32 touchdowns and nine interceptions. Once again, gulp. Running back Tarrion Adams is rushing for 80.4 yards per game, and receiver Brennan Marion is hauling in 103.4 yards per game.

Notable Tulsa alums: TV personality Phillip McGraw, a.k.a. Dr. Phil (he didn’t actually graduate from Tulsa but was a middle linebacker on the school’s 1968 team, which narrowly lost to Houston by the score of 100-6); U.S. Senator Jim Inhofe, R-Okla.; radio broadcaster Paul Harvey (like Dr. Phil, he just attended, but didn’t graduate); Gordon Matthews, pioneer of voicemail technology; golfing legend Nancy Lopez; Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith; and Hall of Fame wide receiver Steve Largent.

Video highlights of 2008 Golden Hurricane (warning: music may induce severe head banging):

For old times sake: Check out this footage from the Arkansas-Tulsa match-up in the third round of the 1994 NCAA Tournament.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop twistin’ my arm, I already love you.” Yes I am channeling Barrence Whitfield after last week’s painful reliance on an “Operative Rule.” Do that and you somehow decide KU has a chance against Tech. And that a super hot Penn State will be stopped by the Buckeyes. When I ignored the Operative Rule and went with my gut (Georgia), I won. No more of that.

I got creamed last week, hitting only four out of ten. I am simply contributing to the pocketbooks of Little Rock’s professional class. Must stop the bleeding. This week, we start fresh. We seek progress. We seek hope. We avert our eyes as the Spread meets the ineptitude of the Hogs D. (Please, tell me Isaac Madison is losing his job to Jamar Love.)

My wife, being apprised of how much I am down on the year in Pick 10, had this to say: “So they let you post on the Expats blog, but you really don’t know very much about football?” Ow Ow Ow Ow.

Here’s this week’s Pick 10. Confidence fails me. Except, sour mash confidence. I have a full Halloween schedule. And I’ve had a few Tennessee whiskeys. This could get interesting.

SEC

Auburn (+6) at Ole Miss: Wow. Ole Miss should destroy a weak Auburn team, right? Hmmm. Arkansas beat Auburn by 3, Ole Mis beat Arkansas by 2. That’s only 5. I’m taking DOG. Eat me, Houston Dale.

Tulsa (-7) at Arkansas: This is hard. Really, the numbers say Malzahn’s offense makes us look silly. But, let me reflect — the Hogs have covered for three weeks in a row, right? So, have the oddsmakers figured it out? Not yet. Plus, I’m a huge homer. DOG.

Kentucky (+3) at Miss State: Again, I am totally torn. These teams suck like Arkansas. But I am saying Kentucky, desperately making Randall Cobb their QB (is this the Wild Wildcat?) seems like a loser. Croom me, baby. FAVE.

Arkansas State Red Wolfie Things (+23) at Alabama: I really want to be a homer here. Really. Governor Beebe is an ASU guy. Bama really doesn’t care. But dang, Alabama may be the best team in the country (gosh, I would like to see Texas v. Bama in the championship game. I pick Texas.) Ah. Bama 48-7. FAVE.

Georgia (+6) — neutral? — Florida: Okay, Jacksonville is so not a home game. I have been to Jacksonville. I ate at an Outback. I had a client who said he wanted his steak medium well. The swishy waiter said “So, I assume that will be Thousand Island, sir?” Lordy, this one is tough. If you can pick this one, you can pick the National Champ. As much as I hate Florida, I say FAVE.

Tennessee (+6) at South Carolina: You can’t spell “Fulmer Out” without “UT.” Still. I smell upset. DOG.

OTHER:

Pitt (+4.5) at Notre Dame: Even a blind minor saint sometimes finds an acorn. FAVE.

Florida St. (-2.5) at Ga Tech: FSU is, amazingly, underrated. DOG.

Texas (-4) at Texas Tech: Tough pick. The swashbucklin’ Pirates are staying quiet and laying in wait for the Horns. Problem is, it is hard to figure out if Tech is for real. I know Texas is for real. I am queasy about it, but I have to go with the Horns. FAVE.

Oklahoma (-21.5) at Nebraska: Nebraska is having a very similar season to Arkansas, except I’m not sure the Huskers are improving. Playing Sam Bradford won’t help. Still, that’s a lot of points, and it may be time for the Huskers to scare someone. DOG.

More on Malzahn and the Hogs, and funny, too.  Hogs are getting seven points.  Is it enough?  Serious football talk here.

We’re sorry to say that we got so caught up in other things last week that we never posted our SEC Power Poll ballot here (don’t worry…we still voted in the poll itself). We’re back with a vengeance this week, though. Let’s get right to it:

1. Alabama (defeated Tennessee, 29-9)
2. Florida (defeated Kentucky, 63-5)
3. Georgia (defeated LSU, 52-38)

The theme this week is the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer…not a lot of middle ground this season. The Cocktail Party should be pretty great this weekend.

4. LSU (lost to Georgia, 38-52)
5. South Carolina (idle)
6. Mississippi (defeated Arkansas, 23-21)

Welcome to the middle class of the SEC. Kind of harsh to have to put LSU in here, but them’s the breaks. It’s a tough business.

12. Vanderbilt (lost to Duke, 7-10)
12. Kentucky (lost to Florida, 5-63)
12. Arkansas (lost to Mississippi, 21-23)
12. Auburn (lost to West Virginia, 17-34)
12. Tennessee (lost to Alabama, 9-29)
12. Mississippi State (defeated Middle Tennessee State, 31-22)

Frankly, this last bunch of teams are all so interchangeable that we’re going to put them all in a last place tie for now. Any of them are probably capable of winning a game or two that you don’t expect, but the fact that there’s such a big bunch at the bottom is sure proof that the conference is having a bit of a down year (by its high standards, at least).

Honestly, I’m pretty sick of the Nutt/Mustain/Malzahn love triangle at this point, but with Tulsa coming to town I just couldn’t resist posting this photo. Apologies.

Okay, so Gregg Douche-yell is embarrassing.  So is this.  Was there ever a sponsor more suited to an athlete than John Daly and Hooters?

There’s some good Arkansas-related stuff featured on Deadspin.com (perhaps RazorbackExpats.com’s greatest competitor for the title of “#1 sports blog on the web”) this week.

Yesterday they had a long post about how CBS Sportsline columnist and professional douchebag Gregg Doyel had something of a meltdown when he appeared on Shawn Arnell and Wally Hall’s “Sports Animals” radio show to discuss his virulently anti-Arkansas column from last week. Then, they had another follow-up today that included an interview with Arnell himself. As always on Deadspin, the comments on both posts are pretty hilarious.

By the way, if you missed it the first time you can hear the interview in all its glory here.

But, the real reason we wanted to reference Deadspin today was to give us an excuse to post the following video that they unearthed. It’s of an Alabama fan talking trash about Tennessee, so it doesn’t really pertain to the Hogs, but it was too great to ignore. Anyway, just watch:

The horror. Mistah Kurtz, the horror. If you went to Vanderbilt, you can’t really expect much different, but…are you kidding? Please tell me that this is not happening. After a 5-0 start, can the Dores really lose six straight? Can they miss a bowl game? It will only be the 27th year for that. In a row. You think it sucks to be a Hog Fan? You ain’t seen nuthin’. If you’re a Hog Fan, you have hope. You have some sense of progress. You can see them getting better. You can think next year will be better. You did not just lose to Duke. In football.

Normally I prefer to look ahead to the next game rather than dwell on the last one (that’s because, more often than not, the last one hasn’t been worth dwelling on lately), but given the significance of the Ole Miss matchup and the rather unique way in which it ended I think we need to indulge in a little group therapy before we can move on.

We need closure, so please allow us to talk about that interference call for a minute. First, let’s break down the incident, Zapruder film-style:

And next, courtesy of Hog Database, let’s watch the full video (warning: may be painful, so watch with caution):

So, was it pass interference? The NCAA Rule Book notes that:
“Each player has territorial rights, and incidental contact is allowed under ‘attempt to reach…the pass’ in Rule 7-3-8. If opponents who are beyond the line collide while moving toward the pass, a foul by one or both players is indicated only if intent to impede the opponent is obvious.”

Did London Crawford have “intent to impede the opponent”? Or, was he just engaging in the typical jostling for position that happens on nearly every long pass play? Hard to say…it’s a pretty borderline call either way. The one thing that seems certain to this (admittedly biased) observer, at least, is that it’s not the type of ticky-tack call you want essentially deciding a game. Throw the flag on an obvious penalty, sure, but in this case let ‘em play.

Of course, I have to mention that if the Hogs had executed properly and not shot themselves in the foot on numerous other occasions (such as that missed FG in the first quarter) then none of this hand-wringing over the call would have been necessary. And the way our special teams have performed, even the shortest field goal is far from a guarantee in that situation.

The bottom line, though, is that any old-timers who have a copy of the classic “Pass Interference, My Ass” bumper sticker from 1982 should be dusting that thing off right about now.